


Start Over Again

by GothieCakes



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Feelings Realization, M/M, Past Lives, Past Memories, Post-Canon, Slow Burn, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-28 22:09:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17795660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothieCakes/pseuds/GothieCakes
Summary: And when it's the endOur lives will make senseWe'll love, we'll bend





	Start Over Again

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO HELLO IT'S GOTHIE HERE WITH A VERY LATE VALENTINE'S DAY FIC !! This is like something that's made me overly emotional and honestly I've had this idea for such a long time and... finally I have this written down and it's just so nice to see. 
> 
> ANYWAY, happy Valentine's day everyone, take this angsty Xigdem/LuxuMaster au fic because... I'm honestly not sure why I have to make everything I touch angsty but like, anyway... its lowkey fitting regardless. 
> 
> Also if anything seems familiar in the titles and the uh summary, I was listening to a lot of Lights while I was writing because-- Hey... it was really fitting. 
> 
> aaanywaysss try listening to Pretend (Reprise) by Lights while reading. 
> 
> WELL AS ALWAYS, 
> 
> PLEASE ENJOY!

The soft sound of his master's sitar swirled around in his head as he laid down to rest. It was like this every night, the soft chords moving through the thin castle walls. How the songs would repeat in thirty minutes time as the master would sigh, shift, then start from the top again. 

 

Counting how many sets he could stay up through was always a mystery. Sometimes, he swore it would be two or three. Sometimes, they would continue straight into his dreams. 

 

Upon pondering how many he had or hadn't been able to stay awake through; sleep finally came during a song he knew well. The melody was soft, he could hear the final pluck of a string signaling the end, then Luxu was fast asleep. 

 

His training from his Master wasn't easy, it never seemed to be. But, his Master never denied him a good night's sleep. Saying that relaxing is an important process to learn-- above all else, apparently. Luxu knew the Master Of Masters treated him well, overly well for an apprentice. Maybe that's why Luxu always caught himself gazing at him as Master would run to and from to collect new books to study. 

 

Eccentric, many would have described him crazy, but, Luxu never thought any of it. Just that he was lucky to have someone who cared for him so much. 

 

And that, was all he knew, how Luxu found himself growing to love his time with him. 

 

The day the books were distributed between the foretellers, was when Luxu found himself at a crossroads. There wasn't anything for him to do now besides listen to his Master's orders. The soft sound of his sitar would stop now. Luxu would find himself sleeping uneasily. 

 

Luxu found himself, overall… scared.

 

The day his mission was given, Luxu gripped the keyblade he was handed and choked out the words “ _ Goodbye _ ”. With the box at his side and a heavy heart, he left. 

 

With the promise of meeting again someday. 

 

-

 

Xigbar woke up to the sound of a soft noise that was so distant yet, familiar.

 

It had been years… maybe, or possibly decades. If he had counted them, he would have known of course. Xigbar found himself forgetting after the first couple of years of wandering. 

 

Besides, if he would have taken the time of how long it had been or when he had switched into his new form… Well, it would have been a headache, really. A headache that he didn't need to care about anymore.

 

Xigbar stretched his arms over his head with a groan and got up begrudgingly. There were no missions for him today. Though, not many considering, many members weren't established yet either. 

 

Organization XIII was starting and they had gotten up to nine members so far. The ninth was arriving today, as of Xemnas’ briefing the day before. Xigbar didn't stay in bed too late because of that fact… it'd be his job to go see what they were dealing with, who the boss had chosen. 

 

Slipping on his coat and boots, Xigbar walked out of the room with a yawn. He didn't bother to really fix his hair, only fixing the ponytail slightly then adjusting the eyepatch over it as always. One thing he always remembered  _ was _ the scar… 

 

Sometimes Xigbar wondered where that Terra kid had gone. Well, where  _ any _ of them had gone. 

 

Anyway, he didn't have time to look back on the past. 

 

Not right now. 

 

But,

 

The soft sound continued as he walked into the common area and got louder. Upon further inspection as well there was a voice that went with it. Soft and unfamiliar, yet. Xigbar had the weirdest feeling he'd--

 

“Ah--! Wrong note!”

 

Xigbar was taken out of his small daze by the other's voice in the room. So, This must have been number nine. Xigbar blinked as they made eye contact and then smirked, 

 

“So, you're the new member. Xemnas doesn't have you off on some new mission to test your strength yet or like, recon…?” 

 

“Nah, he said to wait for some guy named Xigbar.” The calm melody continued on and Xigbar could only laugh as he looked to the other. Instead of standing up looking down at him he took the spot in across from him on the unoccupied sofa.

 

“So, that's what I'm doing, waiting, passing the time the best way I know how.” The ninth member spoke and smiled at him as he continued on his melodic playing. 

 

“Seems pretty easy going for you then.” Xigbar only laughed as the other only nodded as a response; continuing his playing. 

 

As the one who was  _ supposed _ to be briefing him on his next mission, where his quarters would be, the basics of the castle… Maybe Xigbar just found it funny out of all of the new members he had told, this one seemed to care the least. 

 

The others had been looking for guidance whereas this one, was calm. Therefore Xigbar had no reason to disrupt his session, the music was calming, and if he listened long enough he could almost remember--

 

“So, do you know him?” Xigbar looked up with a hum, eye focusing on the Nobody now tuning the sitar across his lap as he plucked a certain note over and over to tune it. 

 

“Know who?” 

 

The Blonde looked at him and smiled, “This Xigbar guy, he's kept me waiting all morning.”

 

Right. 

 

The second in command could only laugh, 

 

“Yep, probably too well.” 

 

“So, what is it then, is he on a mission?” 

 

“Nope.” 

 

“Oookay then.” 

 

The interaction went on in small bursts of conversation. The ninth mostly asking about what they'd be doing, how the place ran, where Xigbar was. 

 

\--Yeah, Xigbar figured he  _ should _ have said something, but, it was kind of funny watching him wonder. 

 

“Yeah, I'd say that covers just about everything… missions are usually updated the nights before too. Worst of all we don't usually have vacation days unless you're sick, or, if you finish it early you get extra time off I guess.” 

 

The soft hums in-between his melody had Xigbar almost in a daze. It was reminiscent, just like how the Master would play… just like all the times he would fall asleep to the chords soothing each worry he had. 

 

Lulling him into a false sense of security… Xigbar looked out the long panel windows towards the moon, even though he had just woken up… daytime never came in this place, not like where he used to… 

 

“Oh, I think that's it.” A confident strum of his fingers indicated that it was, in fact, the notes he was looking for, “but, man I'm beat, these Organization guys really know how to bore a guy…” 

 

Xigbar couldn't help but chuckle, “Yep, but I think we got everything covered.”

 

The blonde looked up mid-note and cocked his head, “Oh come on, really, you're the guy I was looking for?” the strings of his sitar sat still and Xigbar almost wished he hadn't said anything. 

 

“Yeah, sorry about that. Figured you'd rather keep playing and listen than think this was extremely important or something.” Xigbar smirked and scratched the back of his neck, 

 

“Besides, I was enjoying it. Reminded me of someone I knew a long time ago.” 

 

The blonde laughed, and it was probably on the list of prettiest things Xigbar had heard, 

 

“Wow and here I thought...” He went quiet for a moment and then spoke again, “Well, Anyway, Xigbar, I'm Demyx… I mean, I guess you already knew--” Demyx looked away a bit sheepishly as he said it.

 

“No, I only get told your ranks, and which missions you're starting with… Well, for now anyway.” Xigbar leaned forward slightly and materialized a clipboard in his hand, the writing on it was almost illegible if it wasn't his own notes. 

 

“Organization member number nine, recon at wonderland.” Xigbar set the clipboard down and smiled at the other, “hey, could be worse for a first mission. If you want, you can even request someone to go with if you don't know the lay of the place.” 

 

Demyx looked up and shook his head, “Think I'll be good… Well,  _ unless _ being saved from boredom is an excuse to get a partner.”

 

Xigbar only looked to the clipboard and back up, “Yeah, think I can arrange something.” 

 

-

 

Xigbar didn't know when it started, maybe it was when Demyx frantically scrambled notes while he took out a majority of the heartless population. With a couple more rounds they were gone, Demyx was done and the two of them were chatting while a dark corridor opened to take them back.

 

Demyx swore it was too much work which Xigbar only agreed. Recon  _ was _ the worst… he'd rather take out a giant heartless or something of the kind any day. 

 

Upon arriving back Demyx gave his goodbyes and that he was going to relax after they'd finished early. Xigbar nodded and decided to hit the showers instead.

 

Hair wet and tied up messy, Xigbar hit the kitchen before retiring for the night. Finding a couple of snacks around that he grabbed, he started the walk back to his room. Tired mostly, and not wanting to portal. By not doing so, he stopped as he heard the sound of a Sitar as he walked by he could only assume, was Demyx's room. 

 

-

 

“What is that?” Looking to the master Luxu pointed to the instrument he had on his lap and cocked his head. 

 

“A sitar, I play from time to time… anyway, shouldn't you be asleep? It's late!” Luxu looked away but nodded regardless.

 

“Ah-- Right! Goodnight, Master.” Luxu bowed his head before walking to his room, the sound of the strings vibrating through his head as he fell asleep.

 

-

 

Demyx woke with a start. His chest beat fast, his breathing quick. As always, it was dark, getting adjusted to this world would take him a while he figured. Demyx pulled his knees up to his chest and sighed as he leaned forward against them.

 

“I'm sorry.” 

 

Burying his face into his thighs, he sighed and could only laugh at how horrible he managed to feel. But, he knew blowing their cover would ruin everything, he couldn't tell Xigbar-- or…  _ Luxu _ , it was him.

 

He knew Luxu's role was important. More So than anything else… Demyx knew he was being selfish by wanting to tell him. Just like he'd been all those years ago by sending him away… 

 

It still didn't make him feel any better. 

 

-

 

Xigbar portaled into Demyx's room with a groan. Demyx looked to him with a small laugh from the bed, 

 

“Rough day?” Demyx looked down back to his sitar with a smile and Xigbar only placed his hands on his hips as he listened to him. 

 

“Yeah, exhausting. Think I could nap for a week. Anyway, Is it okay if I… just lay here while you play?” Xigbar wouldn't say he didn't have a form of a flush on his face as he asked, Demyx didn't look up anyway-- well, thankfully.

 

“Yeah, don't see why not.” He patted the unoccupied spot on his lap and smirked. 

 

They'd been doing this for a while now. The Organization had been completed. Xigbar’s duties being now passed off to Saix. Therefore, the only things he had a say in now was mostly just during a meeting with all the higher-ups. 

 

He'd just come from one of them, now it was his prime time with alone with Demyx. Probably late, after everyone had finished their missions for the day… days like this would mean they got to be together. The first times they had been together Demyx seemed more excited than anything, Xigbar not entirely sure  _ why _ exactly, but hey, he wouldn't complain.

 

Xigbar, after all, cared about him from the start. He figured he'd ground himself by calling it nothing more than a crush… 

 

Yeah, Xigbar figured that was probably it.

 

-

 

Now, both of them curled against each other, Xigbar in a messy pool against Demyx's lap, hair loose out of the ponytail as Demyx would lazily stroke through it. His instrument placed beside them. 

 

It was quiet, quiet enough that Demyx was almost positive Xigbar had fallen asleep. He hadn't said  anything in while. 

 

Shifting slightly so he could sit up, Demyx looked down to his apprentice in his lap. Out of all the destinies he had given, perhaps the cruelest was given to his dear Luxu. Perhaps the only good part of this mission was the fact that he knew… but-- 

 

“Demyx?”

 

With the sound of his new name, he'd snapped out of his daze almost immediately. “Oh? Xigbar, I thought you were sleeping.”

 

“Woke up.”

 

“Unless you're sleep talking!”

 

“As if.”

 

The comfortable sound fell over them as they laughed. Then as soon as it started, a quiet lull took over once more. The only noise being Xigbar moving to look up at Demyx.

 

“Y'know, you remind me of someone… from a long time ago. A hazy memory and all that... but, you aren't him… it's just me, clinging to a memory of something I can't even find the pieces of.” 

 

The tone felt stiff in the room now, Demyx tried to hide his concern, did he know…?

 

“Xigbar?”

 

A Muffled yes from against his lap, Arpeggio gone, Demyx was leaned down, his lips pressed against Xigbar's.

 

“I'm sorry I'm…” Demyx stopped, and laughed against his lips, trying to hide the pain of his next words behind a smile, “I'm sorry… I'm not him.” 

 

Although, _it still hurt_.

**Author's Note:**

> Also, a reminder that I take requests and commissions on my twitter which is twitter.com/nnoites ✌
> 
> And, as always, Comments and Kudos are much appreciated ❤✨
> 
> (Sorry in advance everyone ;; w ;;)


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